We both believed in the KISS Principle – K. I. S. S., Keep It Short & Simple – so I will.

She is at peace and so am I. She Earned her rest with a magnificent fight and an inspirational life. Her children will now carry on.

At 5:06 A.M. on the 23rd of February a light went out on Earth, and in my heart. Perhaps a star blinked on in the heavens. Its name was Minou.

I can’t stop crying. One month past Minou, one day past Natasha, today the ashes in the Antilles – I can’t stop crying. And yet there has been joy too. Christine and Guillaume have been a joy, a pillar, a godsend – even though we make each other cry. Many people in France have been warm and good. My original family has been superb. Three days ago the Vernal Equinox, and even now a few sprouts of normalcy. But I can’t stop bawling. They say these things come in three – that’s fine as long as the third is me.

No, I am not suicidal – but I am old and I am tired. I’ve worked hard and very long. I deserve a rest. I have friends on the other side. I long to sleep with Minou again. I’m ready. A heart attack would be a blessing.

And yet… And yet. I’ve had a fantastic life. The last ten years were the best ever. The decade before that the second best. 35-45 the third best. The curve has always ascended. Of course it can’t continue. There’s no topping Minou. My faculties are slipping. And yet… And yet, could it plateau? But I can’t stop crying.

Minou always said I would have a difficult time when she died. She repeated it 10, 12, maybe 15 times over the years. I never believed her. Of course it was easy for me – I knew I would die first. And I’m tough. Wrong on both counts. She always liked being right. And this time she was. The tears will never stop, but I am awfully glad I met her. Even gladder that I loved her. Most glad of all, that she loved me. I’m happy.

28/04/2008 / March 23, 2008 / Crying / Minou / Mixed / AFW, 716, © 2008 / CIP / SHE

Wow. Third time was the charm. The shortest and the longest. One year, ten years, forever. The easiest and the hardest – the peace of confidence and security; the jarring reality of modern medicine. Natural and unnatural – the flow of harmony every single night; and in the last year the malignant growth. It wasn’t what I feared, no sudden changes, no gender wars. It felt right. Only in the absence do you miss the best part of you. Sadly, only in the absence do you really comprehend what you lost. We take too much for granted. She was the most beautiful and bravest soul I ever knew. I love her and I loved her. End of the story, except for tomorrow.

28/04/2008 / March 27, 2008 / Marriage / Minou / Mixed / AFW, 717, © 2008 / CIP / SHE

There is lust, there is like, there is passion, and there is love lite, puppy love, and semi sort of love. And then, if you are very, very lucky; if you have been there and done that; if you have cried, and pondered, and howled and wondered, and wandered. Then, and possibly only then, there might seep into you the possibility of real love. And then it takes two. Two souls arriving at the same spot in time, the same locale, the same milieu. Each with the same hard seed inside that simply needs water: Minou and me – August 31, 1998

28/04/2008 / March 15, 2008 / Love / Minou / Mixed / AFW, 712, © 2008 / CIP / SHE

Some weeks have passed since I wrote the last sentence but I still want to talk about Dominique. In the interim we just completed her sixth and certainly last scheduled cycle of Chemo (infusion, which almost for sure makes her feel better, and a cycle of Temodal which almost for sure does not). Now, 4 weeks for the poison to do it’s job, a final MRI, and a consultation are in the offing. She thinks, and she is probably right, that Dr. Simon will suggest a continuation, perhaps with modifications, of the basic protocol. At any rate Phase 3 will be more or less complete, and that is what I signed on for. It is a good place to take stock, to review the last harrowing year, and to ponder the future.

First the great news – we had a year. In the beginning it appeared that we might have only weeks, or perhaps, if lucky, a few months of decline in front of us. Decline from the depths. At the onset gibberish and a horribly malfunctioning medical establishment. Soon dire forecasts and horrific headlines – be wary, ever so wary, of reading the literature. Bleakness and blackness, chaos and confusion, but tiny specks of bravery. Slowly, ever so slowly, Dominique started to fight. She is a magnificent animal when she marshals her will. She did it with her children for 25, 30 years, 10 years ago she did it with herself, and now she started to dig deep again. Inch by inch she inched herself up. In the end we had a year, no guarantees, but a year of some sort of progress. Of course it is true that the progress may be more apparent than actual, chemical than constituent – but it was a year and that was the goal.

Now we need an MRI and a prognosis. Something solid. A reason and a plan. Do we have seven weeks, seven months or seven years? At least today we don’t feel compelled to include seven days, though in January we might have. Just today my love spoke of the possibility of 15 years – feasible or filament? Should we conserve strength or live life? She’s fluttering and nearly flying again. It’s what she asked for. It’s as close as I can give to what she sought. I feel very certain I don’t have 15 years, and most probably not even 5. Five months may be closer to the mark. At any rate the balance is redressed – the odds are I’ll go first, and that pleases me.

28/04/2008 / October 11, 2007 / A Progress Report ? / Minou / Mixed / AFW, 702, © 2007 / CIP / SHE

With handbags all the rage on Fashion Avenue, Hermes is sitting pretty. Today they are also into silk scarves, ties, bracelets, fragrances, watches, cuff links and ready-to-wear – and, oh yes, they still do saddles. A metamorphose started in 1997 with Martin Margiela, and continued in 1999 with Jean Paul Gaultier, they began to define French chic in clothes. Mostly though this firm, founded in 1837, probably succeeds because it is still family-owned and family-run, with a major emphasis on quality and craftsmanship. This is authentic French luxury. Currently the 5th generation holds sway but the 6th is spread throughout the company and set to soon make its mark.

Original appearance Sept 10, 2005, © 2005 / Hermes, Leather Bags and Haute Couture / 24 RUE DU FAUBOURG-ST-HONORÉ, 75008 / 01 42 65 21 60 / CIP 149, OO 24, RD 10, YP 30/12-10

She died in 1971 but her influence will live on as long as there are women. Lace and languor, soft tweeds and silk, and, even more, Chanel No. 5 will be her legacy. Since 1983 Karl Lagerfeld has been on the scene at Chanel. The fusion of pre-war Chanel’s gauze and glow with Lagerfeld’s sense of humor, contemporary trends, and eccentric hats is interesting. There was a phrase by Suzy Menkes in the International Herald tribune that seemed to sum it up: “…. this wavering waltz between Karl and Coco.” Now the brand has expanded beyond perfume and ready-to-wear into handbags, key chains, shoes and the like. Now it has the biggest boutique in the world in Tokyo, a ten story affair. Ladies still love it all.

Original appearance Sept 07, 2005, © 2005 / Chanel, Gabrielle (Coco) Chanel, Haute Couture / 29-31 RUE CAMBON, 75001 / 01 42 86 28 00 / CIP 148, OO 23, RD 07, YP 30/11-7

It all started, at least the internet part, 8 years ago today – and to think cowboys think just 8 seconds is a long, long time. It was June 23rd, 1999 – DDBookline was born. Long gone now, but fondly remembered, it was back when the internet was the wonder it promised to be. Back before the behemoths ate the internet. Almost before Bezos. Perhaps that is a little bit of an overstatement – sour grapes maybe. Jeff Bezos actually founded Amazon in 1994, it’s IPO was in 1997, and he was Time Magazine Person of the Year in 1999. Still, if we had been a little faster, saw a little further, been a little more hungry – who knows.

As it was we just had fun. DDBookline.com was the internet arm of our little D-Pit, an independent Bookstore and Sandwich Shop (we actually called it a Bookaurant Reststore) We ran it with pleasure for well over 20 years on the outskirts of Yosemite National Park in the Sierra Nevada. Basically DDBookline did personal, old fashioned searches for out of print books with the aid of the internet before it became automated. Back then a little experience with books helped, and a lot of experience was invaluable. We were somewhere in the middle. We had a lot of good times, fantastic customers, and excellent memories.

DDBookline was the mother and the father of Tricolors.com. It was my sweetheart’s and my first project together. From it flowed Categorical Imperative, Tricolors, Common Denominator, She’ll (AKA The Magazine), Cowboy in Paris, Verticalize, the Coaching Quadrant and a host of other minor and medium projects.

602 – DDBookline …. June 23, 1999 © 1999 / Used June 22, 2007 / CIP 3, partial, © 2007 / Better / SHE / GMS

Some words. X is the common denominator.

Xenon, Xray.
Ax, axle, axiom, axis, axion, axon.
Ex, extinct, extraordinary, exponent, express, expand, explode, execute, existence, exit, exact, excellent, extra, exceed, exclude, existential, expound, expatriate, explore, exude, extant, extort, extrovert.
Ox, oxygen, oxidize, oxide, oxbow.
Uxorious.
Box, buxom, coxswain, dexterity, foxy, fax, fix, fixate, hex, juxtapose, lax, luxury, mix, maximum, nix, nexus, next, noxious, pox, sex, tax, tux, toxic, vixen, wax.
Flux, coax, coaxial, epoxy, hoax, jinx, quixotic.
Helix, convex.
Matrix.

Significant or not?

607 – The X Factor … Significant or Not? / Used June 22, 2007 / FF 77 pg 26 / / CIP 3, © 2007 / Best / OAR

11 … Are there the same opposites on the other side?
12 … Is there a stellar stutter at the instant of ultimate entropy?
13 … There may be a reason for the figure 8.
14 … What if God was not crazy and logic ruled the world?
15 … Skip outside the box, thinking inside the circle is more productive.
16 … Is there a correlation between the number of dimensions and universes?
17 … Where does the double helix begin and end?
18 … Does ‘stellar stutter’ crystallize in the formulation that opposites aren’t?
19 … Do all black holes become one, then none, and then one again?
20 … Does the matrix bind?

I’m working harder on the first set of questions (see An Open Letter …./…. The First Ten on April 9th). Still, if I ever get close on one or two, or give up on all of them, I might consider some of these. No matter what matter is, it’s fun to think.

605 – Further Questions … Second Helpings / Used June 22, 2007 / FF 77, pg 12,13,17 2003-2005 / Best / CIP 3, © 2007 / OAR